


Qualifications of Being Evil

by fluffyxcloud



Category: Highlight | Beast (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, b2st is the best, basically junhyung is a giant mom, evil!Junhyun, hilarious B2st being boys, nagging!Junhyung, written long before the split :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-15
Updated: 2011-06-15
Packaged: 2019-02-19 11:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13122489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyxcloud/pseuds/fluffyxcloud
Summary: The following document contains incriminating evidence of one Yong Junhyung in the case of B2ST vs Yong on the grounds that Yong Junhyung is evil. Yang Yoseob is to be credited for this discovery. B2ST is to be credited for living with it.





	Qualifications of Being Evil

“I think Junhyung is evil,” Yoseob said seriously one morning at the kitchen table. Hyunseung choked on his cereal, Dongwoon’s face adopted a thoughtful countenance, Kikwang’s already large eyes widened in surprise, and Doojoon’s face blossomed into an incredibly amused smirk.

 

A hush ran throughout the apartment, the only sounds being Hyunseung’s attempts at regulating his breathing and the distant running shower (in which the subject of Yoseob’s declaration was currently occupying).

 

“Why is that, Yoseob?” Doojoon asked first, not afraid to continue the conversation despite Junhyung being merely one room over.

 

Hyunseung, having calmed himself, pushed his now forgotten cereal bowl over and leaned forward interestedly.

 

“Well,” Yoseob began somewhat hesitantly, “he fits the qualifications.”

 

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Dongwoon chimed in, “what the qualifications are…I’m ever more afraid to ask how you got them.”

 

Yoseob looked around sneakily before leaning in conspiratorially toward the table. The rest of the members leaned in confusedly.

 

“I’m not at liberty to say,” Yoseob said in a normal voice, peering with suspicious eyes at his members.  
Doojoon leaned back in his chair with a loud huff of annoyance. “Then why the lean-in? I was expecting a deeply-involved plot filled with twists and possibly death.”

 

“I felt like making you all look stupid,” Yoseob shrugged.

 

There was silence. Everyone else at the table wisely decided not to vocalize that they all thought Yoseob was doing a good enough job of that on his own.

 

“So,” Kikwang braved, humoring the young vocalist. “what’s the list?”

 

It wasn’t until they were informed that the rest of B2ST discovered the true nature of their beloved rapper.

 

 

****  
****  
Tight, White Pants  
****  
****

 

“Hyung, what are you wearing?” Dongwoon asked in a strange voice.

 

“Um, clothes, why?” Junhyung responded distractedly as he tried on different hats in the mirror.

 

“But,” Dongwoon gulped, “your pants.”

 

“They’re white, gotta problem with that?”

 

Dongwoon just stared another second before shrugging his shoulders and leaving the bathroom. As he made his way into the main room, his lips turned downward in a suppressed smile. “Evil, huh?” he mused to himself.

 

“Talking to yourself is a sign of insanity,” Doojoon said casually as he stepped passed the maknae into the kitchen.

 

“Oh,” Dongwoon said. “You should look at what Junhyung’s wearing today.”

 

“Why, has he got a clown suit on?”

 

“Better.”

 

Doojoon turned away from the open refrigerator and peered at Dongwoon interestedly. Just then Junhyung entered the room sporting a black shirt, large shades, fedora hat and white pants that suctioned themselves onto his thin thighs.

 

Doojoon burst out laughing.

 

“What?” Junhyung asked irritatedly, scowling at the repeated odd actions toward him this morning.

 

“N-nothing,” Doojoon stammered while trying to control his laughter. “I like…the outfit.”

 

“What the hell?” Junhyung snapped and whirled around and back into their shared room.

 

“Junhyung, what are you wearing?” Hyunseung’s voice drifted out of the room followed by an exasperated yell.

 

 

****  
****  
Saying “indeed”  
****  
****

 

“I don’t understand how saying that nominates you for evilness,” Hyunseung questioned when Yoseob mentioned said qualification.

 

“It’s not really the word,” Yoseob clarified, “it’s how you say it.”

 

“I really don’t get it,” Kikwang said.

 

“You will,” Yoseob said ominously.

 

Kikwang suffered this experience. Actually, the one who really suffered was Yoseob, as yesterday he drank Junhyung’s last soda. But Kikwang witnessed the moment that Junhyung unwittingly checked another box next to the “evil qualification.”

 

The poor singer made the mistake of entering their bedroom one late afternoon. Offered a brief respite, Yoseob and Dongwoon plopped themselves in front of the TV (Dongwoon to play games and Yoseob hiding from the rapper in fear of repercussions). Doojoon was unlucky not to get a break; he had filming to go to. Hyunseung sat near Yoseob and Kikwang with his laptop pulled up on his lap and he stared at the screen avidly. And Kikwang…

 

…well, Kikwang decided he wanted a work out. Rather stupid, seeing as Junhyung had slunk away into their room the second upon arrival.

 

“Don’t go in there,” Hyunseung said warningly, not looking up from his laptop.

 

“But,” Kikwang protested. “I—work out—muscles---clothes!!!”

 

“I warned you,” Hyunseung shrugged.

 

Kikwang pouted and worried his lip but still needed to work out.

 

He decided to brave the unknown danger beyond. Kikwang stepped quietly into the dark room, the glare of Junhyung’s computer being the main source of light. Junhyung was rummaging around near his bunk.

 

He shuddered.

 

“Working out?” Junhyung asked shortly.

 

Kikwang nodded and then realized Junhyung couldn’t see him.

 

“Uh, yeah, just let me grab clothes and I’ll be out of your hair.”

 

Junhyung grunted.

 

Kikwang decided to be a good friend and put in a word for Yoseob. “You know Junhyung, Yoseob didn’t mean to drink your last coke, he thought there was another one hidden…in…the….”

 

He trailed off as Junhyung slowly turned his head and glared at him through sharp eyes. Kikwang was eerily reminded of the Exorcist.

 

Or 4minute pms-ing.

 

Either way, Kikwang squeaked and grabbed the nearest clothes he could.

 

“So um…I’m sure Yoseob won’t do it again!” he all but squeaked, locking eyes with Junhyung and fumbling for the knob of the door behind him.

 

“Indeed he won’t,” Junhyung muttered darkly.

 

Kikwang quickly found the knob, yelped out a farewell and slammed the door behind him. He stared out into space. Yoseob and Dongwoon looked worriedly up at the singer while Hyunseung didn’t bat an eye.

 

“Kikwang…hyung…are you….alright?” Dongwoon questioned.

 

“Oh my God,” Kikwang whispered, looking at Yoseob with pitiful eyes. “You’re going to die.”

 

Yoseob’s eyes widened almost comically. “What can save me?” he asked suddenly. “What can I do?”

 

“Buy him a six-pack,” Hyunseung said casually, still fiddling on his laptop.

 

Yoseob bolted up and grabbed Kikwang’s arm, all but running for the door.

 

“But,” Kikwang stammered, “my workout!”

 

“My LIFE, Kwangie!”

 

Hyunseung chuckled and typed ‘wnt to str. Clm dwn and abort’ on his instant messenger window. A cackle was heard from inside the room.

 

Dongwoon shuddered.

 

 

****  
****  
A time constraint of 1 hour  
****  
****

 

All of B2ST have experienced this qualification at least twenty times, so when Yoseob revealed this new tidbit, no one hesitated to agree.

 

Junhyung was publically acknowledged as the nagger of the group:

 

“We leave in one hour!”

 

“Be out of that shower in one hour!”

 

“This room better be clean in one hour!”

 

“You’d better get this part done in one hour!”

 

Once they had the entire day off and Junhyung was so at a loss of what to do, he began giving hour constraints for no reason at all.

 

“Dongwoon, you’d better beat that level in one hour!”

 

“But hyung it won’t take that long.”

 

“You have one…hour!”

 

Dongwoon just nodded and played slower.

 

“Yoseob, you should be up from your nap in one hour!”

 

“Junhyung, there’s nothing to do, I can nap for as long as I want.”

 

“I said, Yoseob, one hour. Or I will go buy a fog horn and wake you up quite unpleasantly.”

 

Yoseob set his alarm.

 

There’s more, but an almanac could be written on Junhyung giving hour time limits, so there’s no point getting into it.

 

 

****  
****  
Owning a “world domination map”  
****  
****

 

“What’s a world domination map?” Doojoon asked.

 

“It’s when you own a giant map of the world,” Yoseob responded easily.

 

“Like in all those spy movies and shows?” Hyunseung asked inquisitively.

 

“Yup,” Yoseob confirmed. “Sometimes they have push pins in there or red string that points out where they’ll take over next.”

 

Dongwoon was horrified when he walked into the dorm one day to see Junhyung pressing a pushpin into a giant map of the world on the living room wall.

 

“Hyung,” he asked slowly. “What’s that map doing on the wall…and why push pins?”

 

“Oh,” Junhyung said, turning and looking over his glasses frames at the maknae. “I’m charting where fans are listening to us around the world. It’s really cool, isn’t it?”

 

Instead of being scared at Junhyung’s silent confirmation of his evilness, Dongwoon was intrigued. “Really? Our music around the world? Where have you got?”

 

Half an hour later when Hyunseung came home, Junhyung and Dongwoon were talking animatedly, gesturing at the map and discussing plans for future overseas promotions.

 

Hyunseung laughed at how when it came to music, all of B2ST was a bit evil.

 

 

****  
****  
Don’t learn from their Mistakes  
****  
****

 

“The best point about this one,” Yoseob said seriously, “is that it mostly pertains to Hyunseung.”

 

“Me?” Hyunseung asked, pointing at himself.

 

“No,” Yoseob said. “The other one.”

 

Hyunseung tilted his head but didn’t put down his finger.

 

“Yes Seung,” Doojoon said at length, “you.”

 

“Well why didn’t you say so?” he said, “it would have saved a lot of confusion.”

 

“How does making a mistake make you evil?” Dongwoon asked, trying not to think of how confusing Hyunseung made everything.

 

“Well, the villain is always vanquished by the good guy right?” Yoseob smiled. “In our case, Hyunseung is the good guy who always makes a fool out of the evil Joker.”

 

“How come Junhyung gets a cool villain name?” Kikwang asked, wondering why he was encouraging their main vocalist.

 

“That’s another qualification, actually,” Yoseob said, “but Junhyung filled that one on his own.”

 

“It’s not even original,” Dongwoon pouted at the table.

 

“Anyway, you’ll see soon,” Yoseob said vaguely.

 

“Is this whole morning going to be nothing but random ominous predictions and hints at later instances that will prove said predictions?” Doojoon said a bit irritatedly.

 

“Pretty much.”

 

And later it was indeed proven.

 

Although, the men around the table were pretty silly for not realizing this proof earlier. When it came to Hyunseung, Junhyung always did something relatively stupid.

 

This time it was in the form of forgetting a simple promise. But to Hyunseung, forgetting anything pertaining to him was nothing short of a felony.

 

Junhyung forgot that after their practice, he was going to go out and get ice cream with the dancer.

 

This was inexcusable.

 

So after suffering Hyunseung’s long silence, pouts, huffs, and otherwise incorrigible behavior, Junhyung finally snapped.

 

“What’s got ants in your pants, Hyunseung, geez!”

 

B2ST froze.

 

Yoseob ran out the room first, quickly followed by Dongwoon hot on his heels. Kikwang looked around the room and mumbled something about “weights” before escaping and Doojoon, who had just came in the apartment door, turned right around and left again.

 

Junhyung was suddenly worried.

 

“What,” Hyunseung said coldly, glaring lazers into the rapper’s face.

 

“I, uh,” Junhyung suddenly lost his attitude.

 

“So first you’re too cool to remember that you promised to go get ice cream with me today and then you have the nerve to snap at me for being upset?”

 

“Oh shit,” Junhyung interjected, “Hyunnie, I’m so sorry!”

 

“Too late,” Hyunseung said darkly.

 

Even though they wanted to, the rest of B2ST (including Doojoon who was hiding just on the other side of the door) couldn’t block out Junhyung’s pleading and screaming.

 

 

****  
****  
Raising One Eyebrow  
****  
****

 

“I’ll agree with this one,” Doojoon said immediately. “T.O.P is proof of this being true. That man rapes the eyebrow raising.”

 

The others conceded with this fact. But before Yoseob could start his explanation and warning, the shower stopped running.

 

Everyone at the table hushed and started at the hallway. Eventually Junhyung came down the hall towards their bedroom. A small towel was wrapped around his waist and water still clung to his skin. His hair was smoothed back from his forehead (Hyunseung laughed at this look) and as he reached their bedroom door, he stopped and looked at the five faces staring blankly at him.

 

“What,” he deadpanned, raising one eyebrow.

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Yoseob said, smiling and waving his hands dismissively in the air.

 

Junhyung said nothing. He shot them one last look and disappeared into the room.

 

“Done.” Said Yoseob.

 

 

****  
****  
Laughing Randomly  
****  
****

 

It wasn’t until a week after their conversation that Hyunseung privately approached Junhyung.

 

Coming up behind the other, Hyunseung wrapped his arms around the rapper and stuck his face in the crook of his neck.

 

“What’s up Hyunnie,” Junhyung asked, turning around in the dancer’s arms and giving him a quick kiss.

 

“Yoseob gave us all quite an interesting proposal a while back.”

 

“What’s that,” Junhyung asked, more interested in running his arms along the dancer’s arms than the actual conversation.

 

“He thinks you’re evil,” Hyunseung chuckled.

 

Junhyung’s face grew dark with amusement. “Ooh, I’m going to love using this,” he said excitedly.

 

“Junnie,” Hyunseung said, sitting Junhyung down on the couch and snuggling into his lap. “What does this make me?”

 

“My beautiful accomplice?” Junhyung asked.

 

Hyunseung pursed his lips, thinking. “I guess I’m okay with that,” he said at length.

 

And Junhyung was silent a moment before laughing loudly and dramatically into the quiet room.  
Inside their room, Kikwang shuddered. He was never being left alone in the apartment with just them again.

 

 

****  
****  
****

 

Most of B2ST lounged in front of the tv. Hyunseung and Junhyung were out getting ice cream (take two). But soon their voices were heard at the door, and they entered the room not long after.

 

“Yoseob,” Junhyung said, “there’s a show I want to watch this next hour. I want the TV.”

 

“What? No,” Yoseob said stubbornly. “We were here first, try asking nicely.”

 

Junhyung raised an eyebrow, shot a dark glare at them, tilted his head, and said slowly. “Yoseob, you have one hour to get off that TV.”

 

Yoseob’s jaw dropped. So did the remote.

 

Dongwoon leapt to his feet. “Suddenly I feel like a walk. Kikwang, join me please.”

 

Kikwang stood as well, “sounds great, I’d love some fresh air!”

 

Doojoon shifted in the couch, resisting, but then Junhyung focused his look and Doojoon stood up.

 

“Yoseob, let’s go see a movie.”

 

“Okay,” Yoseob acquiesced, moving out of the room already.

 

Once everyone left, Hyunseung and Junhyung cuddled on the vacated couch.

 

“You know, this can’t last forever,” Hyunseung said, snuggled against Junhyung’s side.

 

“I know,” Junhyung said easily. They settled down to watch the program Hyunseung wanted.

 

After all, Junhyung may be evil, but he was whipped when it came to his dancer.

 


End file.
